By Michele Mattoon, NSRF Executive Director

I feel stressed. And I know I’m not alone. Educators (and the people who support them) have a lot of reasons to be stressed these days, such as students’ mental health needs, political and cultural pressures, and teacher shortages. Add personal difficulties into the mix, and it’s no wonder many of us feel overwhelmed.

This year my usual methods of managing stress have not been enough. No matter how consistently I practice my daily sessions of yoga, meditation, and afternoon walks, I still feel a bit on edge. So I decided it was time to reflect on my stress to try to understand exactly what was causing it and, more importantly, what I could do about it.

My first thought was that life now feels extremely unpredictable. Educators are faced every day with numerous and wide-reaching policy changes that can affect our lives including how we treat and teach our students. These policies have the potential to completely change what education looks like in the United States in a very short period. Like many, I have been feeling helpless, struggling with my lack of control over the result of these changes to my life and the lives of others.

The words “unpredictable” and “lack of control” reminded me of a point I make when facilitating the NSRF Zones of Comfort, Risk and Danger Activity. The activity demonstrates how varying levels of stress can put people in their risk or danger zone. Someone might feel a little stress (if they are edging into the risk zone) or an intense, continuous stress (if they are squarely in the danger zone). Stress to some extent will always be a part of life but we can learn to manage and, perhaps, even grow from it. Knowing the causes of stress and what we can do about it can help to ease us back into our comfort zone where we can relax and recharge. Generally speaking, people often feel stress when they suffer from a lack of control, predictability, and/or social support.

With that in mind, I began to ask myself some questions.

Probing questions about feeling a lack of control:

• What specific situations make me feel most out of control?
• What emotions do I experience when I feel a lack of control?
• Where do I have control in these situations?
• What are some actions (no matter how small) I can take right now that would help the situation?
• What other things can I do to let go of stress when faced with situations I have no control over?

Then, I reflected upon what I could and couldn’t predict.

Discomfort around unpredictability

• What emotions arise in me when life is unpredictable? Where do I feel them in my body?
• Do I usually equate unpredictability with danger or opportunity or both? Why?
• What stories am I telling myself about unpredictability in my life? Are the stories objectively true? Are they based on facts?
• When have I successfully managed unpredictable changes in my life?
• What could I add or take away from my routine that would keep me moving through my day with more ease?
• How can I reframe my mindset to feel more at peace with uncertainty?
• How can I be more compassionate with myself when I feel powerless?

Finally, I thought about the people in my life.

Reflection around my social support network

• Who do I lean on in my life?
• Should I reach out to my friends and family more? In what ways?
• Are there other people that I could bring into my social support network?
• How can I support others during their times of stress and uncertainty?

I hope these questions might feel helpful to you, as they did me. Then I turned to the obvious solution.

During my reflections, I remembered how much CFG communities have been valued by our teaching, administrative, and non-teaching staff – especially when things got stressful. My CFG communities really did help mitigate our stress by giving us all a sense of control and predictability. They also provided social support by giving us a space where we all felt a sense of belonging, trust, and mutual support.

How do CFG communities reduce stress?

Control: Members of a CFG have complete control over what kind of work or dilemmas they bring to their group for help. They also have control over exactly what kind of feedback they want regarding that work or dilemma. And, finally, they have control over which suggestions they would like to use to improve their work or help solve their dilemma.

Predictability: CFG participants understand exactly what will happen when they meet. Individual protocols are highly predictable. They are always run the same way, with the same steps, times, and language. All feedback is given as a suggestion in a specific format known to everyone in the group. This keeps members in a well-run CFG from feeling ambushed or judged.

Social support: Lastly, CFG communities are intentionally built to give their members (Critical Friends) the sense of trust and belonging that is needed for true social support. These are places where interaction is structured so that everyone feels valued, respected, and heard. CFG communities create and maintain healthy school cultures where Critical Friends support each other in their goal of continuous improvement for themselves and their students.

If you have Critical Friends Group coaches in your schools, talk with them about joining existing or new groups.

Investing in CFG communities is a way schools/districts can help educators find their way out of their risk and danger zones so they may concentrate on supporting and learning from one another. Critical Friends Group work empowers educators to transform their stress into a positive force for personal growth and student success.

If you don’t have access to a local CFG, contact the NSRF about training options or about connecting with others virtually.

You can reach me directly at michele@nsrfharmony.org.

By Michele Mattoon, NSRF Executive Director

Michele Mattoon, NSRF Executive Director & Facilitator, has led the NSRF since 2009 and previously was an elementary coordinator and teacher.

A related NSRF Connections article worth reading …